Catharsis:
by artykidd
Summary: I'm opening up a can of worms with this one but I needed to write it. Told in Leo's POV. Violence and one bad word, only two chapters long but it's done.
1. Chapter 1

**Catharsis: a purifying or figurative cleansing of the emotions**

**For those of you who know me and my life, you should have a pretty good idea as to the meaning of the title and the idea of the story. For those of you that don't, make of it what you will. This is done in Leo's point of view.**

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I don't understand my brother sometimes. In fact, most times I don't understand him at all. I don't understand all the rage and anger and I can't comprehend how deep it all goes, simply because I don't know where it all stems from. I often wonder if anyone does. I once thought that even though I didn't understand him, I knew him. I was wrong, so very wrong. 

Raphael had, as in past tense, a friend named Cassidy. She seemed like a nice enough girl. He even brought her by to meet us all once. Just once. Cassidy, at first glance, seemed like my brother's type. She was average height, blonde, healthy looking, and, well, at the risk of sounding a bit perverse, really big breasts.

I don't know how they met or how they even became friends but they were. In the beginning, that's what they were. Just friends. They both made that statement often enough that we believed them both. Cassidy was smart, going to nursing school, and worked as a waitress at a nice restaurant. She was paying her own way in life. It was a trait we all respected, independence. She even did what she could to help keep our medical needs well stocked. I was proud of my brother for befriending such a nice and level headed person. And even though they were just friends I often suspected that Raph hoped for more. Then it started. This whole situation that ate him alive from the inside.

I don't know if you would call it love. Loyalty, chivalry, a sense of justice or even honor maybe. He was rescuing a damsel in distress like we had all done so many times before. But this time, things just went too far.

That was when the phone calls started. Cassidy would call in the middle of the night, sometimes three or four in the morning. She had a new boyfriend.

Raph had never met the guy but he didn't like him at all. I'm guessing it had to do with the new bruises Cassidy was sporting. She was showing all the signs of abuse. She would wear long sleeves in the summer, dark sunglasses, and lots of make up to cover up the marks. And every time it happened she would call Raph, wanting him to fix things. I don't know what she was expecting him to do, I really don't.

Once, after she endured an obviously long beating, he brought her down here. She refused to go to the emergency room and wouldn't let Raph call her an ambulance. She said that she knew too many people at the local hospital and didn't want anyone to know what was happening, that she was embarrassed.

Donnie did what he could for her. He stitched up the few cuts she had and made her comfortable.

After that, Raph took her to his room and stayed with her in there. He came out to get food or something for her to drink but that was it.

I tried to talk to him about this, that he was getting too involved. He should report this to the police so this guy would go to jail but he wouldn't listen. He explained to me that Bill, Cassidy's boyfriend, was already wanted in other states for domestic violence and drug trafficking but he still managed to get out of whatever the police charged him with.

The first time it happened, I kept my mouth shut. The first time it happened, I wanted to go out and kill the guy myself, or at least beat him senseless the way he had done to her. But then, it became more and more frequent. At least twice a week a phone call would come in and it was always Cassidy. Bill had forced his way in and had beaten her and raped her. Could he come help her. Always the same thing. And always, my brother would go to her rescue.

She was using him and I hated it. I couldn't understand it. Why didn't she just call the police, or lock her door? Why did she let him in? Why did Raph keep going back to help her?

It was wearing on him, I could tell. He was more short tempered than usual. It was probably the result of worrying too much and sleeping too little. Every time she would call, he would run to her rescue. And every time, he would be gone for at least a day or two. He would come home mentally and physically exhausted.

I decided once to see what was going on over at her place. I went one night when Raph was home asleep and watched from the building across from her apartment. She was drinking that much was obvious. There was a vodka bottle on the floor and it was empty. She had a cup of something in her hand. Then, she did what I couldn't believe. She let this guy, the one I assumed was Bill, into her apartment. It had to be him, Raph had described him to me once. Angry was not the word that would have explained what I felt.

This was why my brother was putting himself through hell. Because she would get drunk and let in her attacker. I was in pure rage as I watched her kiss him. I couldn't believe someone would do this. She was on a self destructive trip and was dragging my brother down with her. I left. There was nothing I could have done as long as she let this guy in over and over again.

I got home within a few minutes and had every intention of getting some sleep, but, just as I had crawled into bed, the phone rang. We all knew who it was. No one even bothered to get up to answer the phone anymore. It was Cassidy, it was for Raph, let him get it.

Master Splinter and I both tried talking to him about this, about what she was doing to him. His only response was that he wasn't going to turn his back on someone who obviously needed him. Master Splinter even told him he was restricted to the lair but it didn't work. He wouldn't listen. I don't know what hold this girl had over my brother but it was a strong one.

The last night that it happened was the worst. She called again, I quit counting what number this was. We were somewhere in the area of the tenth or twelfth one. It was around 3:30 in the morning. I didn't hear her side of the conversation, just Raphael's end. It was pretty heated and he actually sounded panicked. I don't remember him sounding like that before. Immediately, he grabbed out first aid kit and a few other things and stuffed them in a bag and left. Master Splinter asked me to follow just to make sure he was okay.

I followed him. I didn't say anything, I didn't even let him know I was there. I just sat perched on the ledge and watched to make sure this character didn't come back. From what I had seen, he was a pretty large guy and could do some serious damage to my brother if he wanted to. One or two lucky hits would be enough to hurt Raph and I didn't want that to happen. Oddly enough, my brother knew I was there.

I had been sitting on the ledge for about thirty minutes, hiding in the shadows and watching, while he nursed her wounds. When he had her patched up he picked up the phone and made a call. After that, he came to the window and opened it up and looked directly at me. How? How did he know I was there? I didn't even need to ask him the question. He answered me as I came in the window.

"Instinct," Raphael said. "Just animal instinct." He stared at me for a moment. I wasn't sure if he was angry or glad that I was there. He was a bit ambivalent about it. I tried to convince him to call the cops and make Cassidy file a report but he wouldn't. He didn't believe me when I told him what I saw. I didn't want to appear cold. Cassidy was obviously in pain and in need of some serious help but it was help my brother couldn't give her. All I could do was sit and wait until my brother was ready to leave. That was when the doorbell rang.

On impulse I hid but it was apparently not necessary as my brother answered the door. Raph opened the door and let an older gentleman in. His name was Tony and judging by his accent, I would have said he was British. I stood silently in the corner while he and my brother discussed the situation at hand. As they did, Tony acknowledged me with a nod.

As they talked, it was decided that Cassidy's injuries were too severe for her to stay at home. Tony was going to take her to a hospital even though she protested. Raph helped her up from the couch and the whole time he did she kept apologizing. She kept telling him she was sorry and that this was the last time. How many times before had he heard that apology and believed it?

I thought we were leaving after that but we didn't. Raph picked up the phone again and talked to someone else this time. He called some guy named Dave and said he was calling in a _solid_ that Dave owed him.

I didn't ask how he knew Tony or this Dave guy. I had a feeling I didn't want to know. We spent the next couple of hours cleaning up the mess Cassidy's abusive boyfriend had made. I thought we were doing it just to help out but apparently it was just to kill time until Tony called. Cassidy was doing okay. The hospital was going to keep her for a couple of days. She had some broken ribs, a broken finger and a concussion. The injuries were enough to warrant observation.

I cringed as I watched Raphael pull the phone away from the side of his head. Cassidy was yelling at him for sending her to the hospital. She was angry at him! My brother, the one who she called to save her, the one who showed up time and time again to fix things, was being berated and yelled at! What really got me was when he hung up the phone and looked at me.

His face was apologetic and his voice was quiet. "She didn't mean it," he explained. "It's probably the vodka talking."

I sighed. I just didn't get it.

After the phone call from Tony, we went home. At least I knew that with Cassidy in the hospital, there wouldn't be any midnight phone calls asking my brother for his help. Maybe he could get a night or two of solid sleep. It seemed like that was the case.

Cassidy did call again but in the middle of the day. I listened once again to my brother's side of the conversation. From what I could understand, she was probably apologizing for her behavior, she didn't mean to yell at him. When Raph hung up the phone I asked how she was doing. He said the doctor's were going to keep her a few more days. They said she had an irregular heart beat and they wanted to run some tests to figure out why. Again, I let out a sigh of relief, a few more days of him being able to sleep through the night.

Things seemed to be going back to normal. Raph slept for almost a day. We left him alone to get some rest, he needed it. After that, he rejoined us for practice and was even pleasant to be around. Sleep must have been what he needed. He still talked to Cassidy but it was during the day and to see how she was doing and what the doctor's said. Cassidy obviously wasn't happy about being there. She called all the tests the doctor's were running "bullsht." But, as angry as she was, the conversation seemed pleasant enough and he always hung up with a smile on his face.

Tony must have been there when Raph called because he talked to him a few times as well. Not much was said between the two, just that Raph hadn't heard from this Dave character yet but that as soon as he did, things would be taken care of and Cassidy would be safe. That had me worried.


	2. Chapter 2

Raph has been pretty secretive lately. I wish I knew what was going on. He hasn't talked to anyone here about things. I thought that with Cassidy in the hospital, things would quiet down and they did, for a few days. But now, every time he calls her or she calls him, he gets angry.

He did raise his voice to her and almost started yelling. He kept asking her what it was she wanted him to do. I heard him suggest that she move away, back to where her family was. This Tony guy even offered to put her up in a place in Florida so she would be away from Bill where he couldn't find her. Her reason for not going was she couldn't break her lease.

I think the suggestion was even made that she move in with Tony but she said she couldn't leave her cat. Her cat? She was willing to risk her life and even possibly lives of her friends for her cat? I just didn't get it.

I like animals. Klunk is a good little kitten but if I had to choose between Klunk and one of my brother's, there would be no question or hesitation. I would choose my brother's.

It seems every time Raph gives a suggestion on how to help her and what she needs to do, she's got some excuse as to why she can't. As a result, he hangs up the phone angry and frustrated and ends up hitting the bag more so than usual. Sometimes he leaves the lair for a few hours. I'm really worried about him. So are Master Splinter and my brothers.

Raph got one final phone call a day after that and it wasn't from Cassidy or Tony. I couldn't tell what was being said. He took the phone as far into the kitchen as he could and whispered so no one could hear the conversation. Then he left. That was the reason I went out that night. His behavior had gotten Master Splinter so worried that he had me tailing my brother every time he left the lair. So for the second time I was sitting in the same spot I was a week ago. I perched on the ledge of the building across the alley way from Cassidy's, surprised to see her home.

Raph was in her apartment and it looked like they were arguing. Tony was there too. He was the whole reason I didn't go in right away. He was doing a good job of keeping my brother and Cassidy calm. I had decided I would only show myself if I needed to. That was when all hell broke loose.

There was a knock at the door and Cassidy went to answer it. As soon as she turned the doorknob it was pushed open and Bill came in. Immediately Tony went to shove him out the door but he was no match for this guy and Bill pushed him down. Tony must have hit his head because by the time I made it in the window, he was knocked out cold on the floor, Cassidy too. Raph and Bill were struggling.

This guy towered over my brother. Raph was always the biggest and strongest of the four of us, but Bill made him look small. I found out later he was doing steroids or some kind of body building drug.

I watched my brother with this guy while I went to check on Tony and then Cassidy. They were both going to have a headache when they woke up but other than that they would be okay. That meant I could turn my attention to my brother and help him out. Seeing an opportunity, I took it.

Bill being taller than my brother left his head open for a full strike. In doing so, I knocked him out. He fell to the floor and I turned to check on my brother. He was breathing heavy and stumbled over to his friends to check on them. Cassidy and Tony both started to wake up, slowly. I helped Tony up while Raph helped Cassidy.

Just in listening to the conversation, I once again, couldn't believe what I had heard. Cassidy had checked herself out of the hospital. The doctor's didn't want her to leave, they were still concerned about her heart and its irregular beat. But, she kept saying they were just trying to get more money out of her so she left. When Raph asked her how Bill knew she was home, she admitted it. She had called him to let him know she was out of the hospital and invited him over. Raph snapped.

I don't think I've ever seen him so angry. He didn't speak but glared animal like at Bill still lying unconscious on her living room floor. With Cassidy protesting in the background, he lunged for Bill and dragged him out the window and down the fire escape. When he was outside, he looked at me, glared at me. I knew that look, it was a warning to not follow where he was about to go. I didn't listen.

I leapt out the window trying to catch up with my brother, Cassidy's screams of protest behind me. Raph didn't go far. He took Bill into the back corner of the alleyway. It was dark and secluded back there. When I found the two of them, Bill was awake but still on the floor. Raph had him pinned down, face first on the filthy street. I had to smirk, Bill was begging for mercy. For a brief moment, part of me wanted this guy to get what he had been dishing out. I thought that's what Raph was going to do, simply give this guy a taste of his own medicine. Once again, I was very wrong.

I saw a glint of metal in my brother's right hand. A knife, one I didn't even know he carried. I tried to stop him. I tried talking to him quietly, trying to calm him down as I stepped closer. I wasn't going to stand idly by and let my brother slip away like this but my efforts were too little too late.

"he's going to kill her Leo," he told me. His voice cracked as he spoke and I realized he was crying. He didn't want to do this so why was he? "I have to do this to protect her," he explained a little more. "I have to protect her from him and from herself." That was when he did it.

He shuddered a moment and then became so still, his breathing stopped and he slid the knife. Slowly and evenly he cut the flesh across this man's throat. He silenced Bill in the middle of his plea for mercy.

For a brief moment, every thing stopped. I just stared in disbelief. I was frozen and couldn't move. My brother had taken a life, not in self defense or in defense of someone helpless. He had thought ahead and committed murder.

That was when Cassidy and Tony made their way into the alleyway where we were. She saw him pull the blade back from Bill's throat and wipe it off. His hands were covered in blood, Bill's blood. Then, Cassidy did what I never thought possible.

She ran over to where Raphael was. She screamed when she saw Bill lying lifeless on the ground. She started yelling at my brother. Raphael just stood there and took it. Repeatedly she pounded on his chest with her fists. "How could you?" she screamed at him. "He was going to take me back! I was going to make him love me again!"

Why? Why would she want someone around when they did nothing but hurt her? Then she yelled one more time. She called him a monster. I think at that point, I actually saw my brother's heart break, literally. Quietly, he grabbed her fists and turned her around and walked her over to Tony, the whole time she was continually screaming at him.

"Get her out of here," he told Tony. "Just take her away."

Tony nodded. Tony told my brother that he did what needed to be done. Bill had to be stopped and Raph was the only one that could do it. Raph just nodded and headed back up the fire escape. I followed him.

I stayed with him for awhile but didn't talk to him. I didn't think he felt like it at the moment. I watched him, studied him. He sat quietly on the ledge and watched his feet as they dangled so high above the ground. I watched again as he pulled a small package out of his belt. He lit up a cigarette and even offered me one. I figured now was the time to start asking questions. Easy questions first, then go from there.

"So," I started. "When did you start smoking?" I watched as he took another long drag of the white stick. Smoke drifted out of his mouth as he started speaking.

"Couple of years ago," he told me and then flicked some ashes off. "Didn't really smoke much," he shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe once a month or every couple of months." He flicked the finished cigarette away and watched it fall to the darkened street below. "I used to make a pack last well past a year but this is my second pack this month."

I watched him light another cigarette and inhale deep. In all honesty, the habit disgusted me, but, as I stared at my brother 'taking a drag' it actually seemed to be helping him calm down at the moment. This was not the time to pick a battle with him about keeping his body healthy, which could wait until later. I had other questions that needed answering. "Raph," he looked at me when I spoke his name, like he just realized I was still there. "How did you meet Cassidy?"

"She saved me once," he muttered.

The way he drew his leg up and wrapped his left arm around it, his body language, all told me I was treading on some dangerous territory but I had to know and he had to talk. "How?" I probed a little further.

He looked at me curiously for a moment and then took another long drag off of the cigarette. Again he exhaled and talked at the same time. "I got in a fight, was outnumbered. She saw it from her window and came out and chased 'em off."

I waited quietly, I had to wonder just how someone like Cassidy could chase off enough thugs to knock my brother down. He read my mind.

"She came out with a big flashlight and a plastic squirt gun shouting she was the police. It was enough to make the guys beating on me scatter." He took one final puff and looked at the cigarette in his hand, almost as if he was trying to figure out how it got there. He turned around and flung his legs over the ledge and stood up. I cringed a bit as I watched him snuff out the butt of the cigarette with the heel of his foot. "Everyone'll be glad to know she won't be calling anymore I'm sure," he uttered as he walked off. I wasn't even sure he was talking to me anymore.

"Raph," I called out to him, trying to get him to finish talking to me but he stopped me. I was too late, he had already started shutting down.

"Save it Leo," he interrupted. "I'm done," and we headed home.

I don't know exactly what caused my brother to start this downward spiral or why he didn't see it. He was always good at telling people 'no' when they were asking too much. But this time, it didn't happen. Why didn't he understand that Cassidy was using him or that she had always seen him as a bit of a monster, not a friend? Why didn't she see who the true monster was? I never got anymore answers out of my brother that night. I don't know that I ever will. I think a part of him died that night and I don't know if he'll ever get it back.

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**Done**


End file.
